ATTN:

DEAR SIR,

I am writing you with trust and confidentiality, my name is MPENZA MBO from the Republic of Angola. And i got your contact from a business journal i received at the COTE D' IVORIE chamber of commerce, and after due consideration and after going through your profile,i became aware assured of your credibility of handling this profitable transaction.Thus, my humble decision to solicit for your understanding and coperation in this business that will benefit you and I.

At the mid term of the rebellion which is still on till date, my father thinking fast, decided to send my brother and I out of the contry (angola) with a total sum of (us$75m)seventy five million united state dollars only, sealed in a diplomatic bag meant for purchase of arms and ammunitions for the rebels and the bills were carefully defaced for security reasons.

On arrival to ABIDJAN, because we are political asylum seekers, we were not allowed to operate a bank account, so with the instruction of my father I deposited the boxes in a security company, though i did not declear the content to them and unfurtunately because of my fathers political influence he was assasinated. we need you by coming to ABIDJAN to open a non-residence bank account with any of the local bank though we are still in LAGOS to negotiate the transfer of our money since we can not speak/talk french, it becomes difficult for us to negotiate properly the non-residence account which will enable the onward telegraphic transfer of the funds to your nomited bank account the whole arrangement will be strictly under our supervision and the transaction will be absolute risk-free. Also the whole transaction will take three working days from the day of your arrival.

we intend to share the money upon sucessful completion of the transaction as follows 25% will be entitled to you for your assistance while 75% will be for us should this meet your utmost consideration please give us your earliest reply through email. Feel free to ask any question you consider necessary. the confidentiality in this transaction can be over emphasized as we trust and belive that you will oblige us the security and attention it demands please treat this transaction with absolute confidenciality
thank you very much.

NB:please reply to my confidential mail box below.


YOURS FAITHFUL

MPENZA MBO
Email:mpenza_mbo@yahoo.com

Dear Mpenza,

Thank you most definitely for regurgitating your informative obfuscation to my email inbox. I'm grateful that the Cote d'Ivorie Chamber of Commerce still includes my business information in their journal after so many years. Does Charles Manson still work at the Chamber? He was quite a character back in the 1960's! Someone told he me moved to California.

Your situation sounds serious indeed...I wish I had known about this earlier as I was in Abidjan only last month to arrange some arms shipments and do some scuba diving. I don't anticipate being able to travel to Abidjan until after daylight savings time ends in September...jet lag is bad enough with adding in the extra hour (or is it subtracted...I always forget).

Your offer is very interesting, but I'm surprised that you are only willing to offer me 25%. My wife's uncle Tony told me he gets 50% when he helps with "cash flow" problems, but maybe the rate is higher in New Jersey where he lives (Good thing the gas prices are so low!). When you add in the travel expenses, it will be quite expensive for me to make the trip, especially since AirTran doesn't fly to Abidjan. I guess I can take Continental...at least I'll get some sky miles.

Is it really worthwhile to retrieve the money since you had to deface the bills? I sometimes draw a mustache on George Washington's portrait on the $1.00 bill, but I make sure nobody is around. It's a Federal offense to deface American currency, and you never know who might be watching. I'd bet that the government is even reading our email, so be careful what you write in case it's illegal to deface currency in Abidjan as well. Anyway, what good is $75 million if it's defaced? Is it just mustaches and glasses on the portraits? Whose portrait is on the Abidjan currency anyway? I know some countries put American pop stars on currency and stamps in order to drum up some business...if the Abidjan currency has Elvis Presley or Bruce Springsteen on it, I'd be willing to settle for 25%. If it's got Phil Collins, then the deal is off...he sucks.

Please respond as soon as possible as I've also received an intriguing offer from Kizombe Kamara of Nigeria, and he is willing to perform a similar financial transaction via fax. Nothing against Abidjan, but it's certainly no Uzbekistan.

Sincerely and with malice towards none,

John

DEAR JOHN,

I THANK FOR YOUR MAIL BUT NOT TOO HAPY THE WAY YOU SOUND, I EXPECTED YOU TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WAY FORWARD, BUT YOU KEEP ON TELLING SERIES ABOUT YOUR FRIEND CHARLES MANSON, YOUR WIFE'S UNCLE AND ARMS WHEN WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MONEY. WHAT HAS ALL THESE STORIES GOT TO DO WITH WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, IN FACT YOU SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT DOING
BUSINESS WITH ME.

YOU JUST MAKE ME FELL AS IF THE INFORMATION I GOT ABOUT YOU IS FALSE BUT THAT NOT WITHSTANDING I HONESTLY MEAN AND WANTS BUSINESS WITH YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME YOUR SERIOUSNESS AS THIS IS NOT A CHILD'S PLAY.

SO IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS BUSINESS, PLEASE DO SEND TO ME YOUR PRIVATE PHONE/FAX NUMBERS SO WE CAN TALK.

THANKS AND GOD'S BLESS.

MPENZA.

Dear Mpenza,

I apologize most delightfully if I sounded obtuse in my prior email. I didn't realize the seriousness of your email, and so I wanted to establish a rapport with you prior to getting into the details of any potential business transaction. There is an old Lenin saying that you should "Stop and smell the pickles as you go through life". Even with the serious nature of your predicament (and it sure is a pickle!), you should lighten up a bit in your email correspondence. Doctor Kevorkian (my physician) told me that stress can lead to excessive flatulence and eventually an early death, so I like to mix conversation in with my business dealings.

Anyway, let's get down to business. I'd like to know a bit about "THE INFORMATION I GOT ABOUT YOU". What specifically did you hear about me? I hope they didn't mention my "problem" with altar boys...that was years ago and the medication I'm now taking keeps things under control most days.

I don't have access to a phone right now...it's a long story (and you hate when I provide details), but I found out the hard way that just because I have unused checks doesn't mean I still have money in the account. If you want to fax me something, you can use my friend's fax at work (914-961-8443). He works for the government...some sort of law enforcement division, but I'm not sure in what capacity. He told me he would pass along anything you fax to me...mark the fax "Attention: John Ashcroft".

Most gratuitously,

John

(No further communication as of 6/11/2002, so I sent him a letter from a different email address)